Shifting beliefs: Unlearning body criticism
The Dove Global Beauty and Confidence Report found that “7 in 10 [young women] stop themselves eating or put their health at risk in other ways” when they don’t feel good about the way they look.
When we are little, our minds are like a sponge and are constantly taking in what is being said around us. In some form or another, we are inherently taught through societal norms that if our bodies changed in certain ways - got bigger or smaller, changed during or after pregnancy, changed as we grew older or our life circumstances changed - that it is “bad”. Whether this has or hasn’t been communicated directly to us, there is an influx of ways that it is communicated non-directly. Think back to any time growing up that someone has said to you they “just need to lose the last 5 kilos”, passed on any judgment towards what you are eating, or said that they are exercising so they can make up for what they ate. Our young minds absorb these comments and behaviours and oftentimes create the belief that we are not inherently worthy, and that our bodies are something to be fixed in some capacity.
This is not to blame people who may have held these beliefs before us and passed them on; they were just doing the best with what they knew. Beyond this, the media are simply selling a product by feeding us this narrative in many different ways. By instilling the belief in you that you are not enough and need to fix the way your body looks, you will be more inclined to invest in “fixing” it. More often than not, we are actually striving to look like something that does not even exist - we can spend all the money on all the different products and still feel that there is more to fix if we do not look at the underlying issue, which is simply the belief that there is even something to fix.
But it is important to understand that these ways of thinking have been established throughout our lives (particularly when growing up) and it is a learnt way of thinking. Because of this, we can make steps to shift our beliefs and prevent passing this on further to the younger girls around us.
Acceptance
Acceptance is a huge theme here in terms of re-wiring these beliefs and it plays into a lot of different parts. Firstly, finding acceptance for the simple fact that our bodies will never ever stay the same for our whole lives. No matter what we go through in our lives, our bodies will always change - from the simplest of things like changing our exercise routine to going through different chapters of life that demand different things of our body. Not only do our bodies change over the course of our lives, but they fluctuate day to day as well depending on what you have eaten, the stage of your cycle you are in, stress you are feeling, and so on. This is normal, absolutely every human experiences this, and there is nothing at all wrong with you for it. Our bodies carry us through our whole lives, they are our home.
Secondly, finding acceptance for your body as it is in this very moment. This can be really hard and even when you practice these new habits and ways of thinking, it can still be really hard sometimes, and that is ok. It is just about practicing these new ideas without any pressure. But I hope as you start to practice acceptance for your body, you can notice how much more natural it is to want to make better choices to look after yourself. Having acceptance for your body is the first step to actually wanting to care for it more and reach any goals you may have - like performance goals in the gym, feeling more vibrant and energised, running a specific distance, or anything else that you are working towards.
2. Embracing the things that make you unique
Find things about yourself that make you unique and remind yourself of them often. Even if it doesn’t feel super unique, maybe there are things about yourself that you love because they are things you are proud of or make you feel good. Maybe this is the way you put effort into things and people you love, the way you always try new things, your hair, your smile…anything at all that you love. Another way to do this is to think of one thing about yourself you love before you go to sleep every night, always trying to think of something new. Our subconscious brains are especially receptive before and after sleeping, so this is such a good time to make a habit of thinking something positive.
3. Consume things that make you feel good
We are all inherently worthy of value - make sure you are not consuming things that tell you the opposite. When you open your social media, try and curate a following that leaves you feeling inspired and uplifted, rather than drained and lacking confidence. Consider things like podcasts you are listening to, time spent watching tiktoks with unhelpful messages, and even the people that are closest to you and the ways they make you feel about your body.
On the other side of consumption, consider your habits around eating and how they may be connected to your feelings about your body. Feeling like you need to exercise in exchange for everything you eat is exhausting, as is always eating foods that make you feel lethargic and depleted. When shifting beliefs about your body, it is really common to notice you naturally want to eat better foods that leave you feeling good. This is for a few reasons; firstly, your self-respect and self-confidence is increasing so you want to make better choices for yourself. Secondly, you are shifting your identity to someone who values and accepts themselves, meaning you are making choices in accordance with a person who identifies like that. I am not sure if that makes sense, but the only important thing to note here is that if you can start to focus on eating the things that make you feel good (whatever that means for you), you will notice better thoughts flowing about your body, and it goes in a cycle.
4. Gratitude
Joy cannot exist without gratitude first. Find gratitude for your body and all the things it does. Our bodies are not a thing to be critiqued and judged, they are the home that carries us through all of our experiences in life. If you are struggling with self-criticism, ground yourself in gratitude.
Beyond gratitude for your body, find things going on in your life to be grateful for. There is always something, even if it is small, in every day that you can find and this can help take the microscope off yourself and ground you in the bigger picture of how full of opportunity life is.
